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The Reminiscence

Tonight's commentary is rather winded so please excuse the length but I felt it was very important to end the year with this one. This is our last commentary for 2005 and before we begin 2006 I would like to share with you a little story about myself.  2005 has been a rough year for most traders.  It may be so rough that some will think of giving up this business of trading.  If you are thinking of giving up please think again.  Read below the reminiscence of when I first started as a trader and know that it is true.  Anyone can be successful in this business if they try hard enough.  Please make 2006 the year you learn to be the best trader you can be.  I always say that a chart is worth 1000 words but tonight instead of charts I think a thousand words will be worth more to you than just a few charts. 

Nightmare on Wall Street
No matter who you are how intelligent you may be or how much education you have if you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results you are suffering from the most insidious form of insanity. This is selfdelusion of the highest degree. Years ago when I first started to trade I was very optimistic and believed I could make money consistently. I could do it and nothing was going to stop me. I did not work hard at it at all but I still showed big profits month after month. Why Because we were in a major bull market and all stocks were rising.  I thought it was because I was a great trader but I was wrong.  I was not making money because I was a great trader; I was making money because at that time you could not lose money if you tried. 

Suffering from Tickitis
Little did I know what I was facing and what I was about to come head on with the most challenging task of my lifetime.  After a few months I found myself over trading losing on many trades spinning my wheels and trying all different trading styles listening to the talking heads on TV jumping back and forth between analyst upgrades and trading on fundamentals instead of Technical Analysis (what was TA anyway I had no clue what TA was).  Instead I followed the analysts and did all the wrong things at all the wrong times. 

I could not do anything right and found myself glued to the CNBC ticker the first year they were on the air.  I had a severe case of tickitis. I watched every tick and looked at my portfolio balance every 12 seconds.  I could not make a successful trade for the life of me. Why couldn't I do it What was wrong I had to face the truth and the truth was that when I first started trading I just got lucky. I did not know what I was doing but somehow my stocks were going up.  I was spoiled and thought I could do no wrong.  I just happened to get in the market when all stocks were going up.  There was no skill to what I did when I first started but I was blind to that fact and I said to myself this is a piece of cake the stock market is easy money. Oh how wrong I was. 

Oh How Wrong I Was
I bought more. That's the ticket. Average down and keep averaging down and eventually the stock will go up and I will get even and dump the stock.  Why is the stock going down After all I listened to the gurus on CNBC and they said it was cheap the P/E was low.  I keep buying more as it fell; it has to go up soon who would sell at this low price Wow!! Look at the size of my position now I own too much of this dog this is scary. 

I continued to watch every tick read all the message boards and follow what those idiots were saying. Life was miserable this way. I became depressed and irritable. I shut myself off from the rest of the world just trying to figure out what to do. I had dug a really deep hole and the only way out was to sell and take the losses. The other choice was to wait and be in agony day after day watching my account and my selfesteem (what was left of it) melt away faster then a bag of ice left on the Arizona asphalt in July.  I pushed myself to the point of both physical and mental exhaustion. 

Why Didn't I Learn First
Why Why didn't I just learn how to trade like a pro before I jumped in the market with all my cash This is the question I asked myself over and over.  Why did I think I could trade successfully without first learning how It makes no sense now but then you don't think about that until it's too late.  Why did I continue to hold on to those losers and even worse average down 

In order to be reborn I had to destroy the internal selfdefeating programming and start all over again. I had to step back look at what I had done with hard earned cash that was now in somebody else hands (the smart trader on the other side of my trades). He took my money more power to him he was better than me.  My cash was gone and it was not coming back. Or was it Is there a way for me to get it back Yes there was. I can get it back if I become the trader that was on the other side of my trades

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